On the Superiority of String Theory

As we look at science in general, and physics in particular, a clear pattern emerges: the scientific endeavours most worthy of praise and acclaim are the most abstract and mathematical sciences.
Physics is of greater worth than biology, theoretical physics is more worthy than experimental physics, and high-energy particle theory is the most fundamental and important field in the history of human though.
Rather than deriding string theory as an excessively mathematical dead end, as many anti-science America-hating Bush-bashing politically correct feminist shrub-hugging liberal communist dupes do, we should celebrate it as the greatest achievement in the history of human thought.
It is, in fact, far more inherently interesting than the vulgar mechanical products of experimental science, such as the laser, the transistor, fire, and the wheel.
Let us be clear: the entire history of human culture has been nothing more than a steady progression from liberalism and crude experimental science to the twin pinnacles of George Bush and string theory.

Far from being an essential check on the validity of theory, experimental work is a mere distraction from the highest scientific calling, namely the manipulation of totally abstract mathematical constructs in arbitrary numbers of dimensions.
Often, you will hear miguided negative nihilistic foolish crackpots say that without some experimental data to constrain the 10300 possible string vacuaa, string theory cannot be considered science, but this is misguided, for experimental observations are nothing but plural anecdotes demonstrating nothing (see, for example, the mass of “evidence” claiming to show global warming).
Only when theoretical physics is completely cut free of piddling concerns about matching physical reality can it reach its fullest flowering, as a pure product of unfettered intellect.
Let go of your petty objections, drink this Kool-Aid, and revel in the eleven-dimensional glory of what is undoubtedly the greatest creation in the history of human culture.