An Open Letter to the Food Service Industry

When people attending a meeting– particularly a meeting that starts at 8am on a Saturday– elect to drink tea rather than coffee, they do so because they do not want coffee. For this reason, it is imperative that you not select the urns at random from a large pile of them, but rather use urns for hot water that have not been used for coffee.

If I wanted brownish coffee-flavored hot water, I would drink coffee, and not bother with the tea bags.

Thank you.

12 thoughts on “An Open Letter to the Food Service Industry

  1. You’re able to tell the difference between US coffee and warm water? I sure can’t! But I’m just a smug, espresso-sipping european.
    Note to Repugs: latte is pure american filth, fuck you very much, we don’t drink THAT in Paris. Fix your cliches.

  2. You’re able to tell the difference between US coffee and warm water? I sure can’t! But I’m just a smug, espresso-sipping european.
    Note to Repugs: latte is pure american filth, fuck you very much, we don’t drink THAT in Paris. Fix your cliches.

  3. They also need to learn that a leaving us tea drinkers a pile of Lipton tea-bags is the equivalent of leaving coffee drinkers a tin of Folger’s and a scoop. I’m not asking for loose-leaf, but least upgrade to Tazo or something.

  4. Decades ago, when I was (for 3 years) a vegetarian, I bitterly resented the Food Service Industry for, at allegedly catered alleged dinners, offering the option of “Vegetarian” as opposted to “Beef”, “Chicken”, or “Fish” — and then making the “Vegetarian” dinner the same as the “Beef, Chicken, or Fish” — but with none of the animal products. Just the default rice or potato and the single limp leaf of lettuce or sprig of parsely. Phooey.

    Folks, I could have ordered one of the meat/fish dinners and just given someone else my meat or fish, thank you very much. Ever heard of tofu? Or nut-loaf? Nuts!

    I’m not complaining about the desert, except when that was a jello-based product.

    After 3 years, I reverted to omnivore status.

  5. Usually, people only rinse out the coffee urns, leaving old oils to turn rancid and give future coffee a nasty bitter taste. Complete cleaning requires cleaning all the surfaces and running hot water to flush out the plumbing. Gee, that’s a lot of work. Anybody watching? No? Well, screw it.

  6. Food service workers know that non-coffee drinkers are heathens who must be converted to the Way of the Bean by any means necessary. If they aren’t given coffee-flavoured water then they have no chance of attaining the Nirvana that awaits coffee drinkers. So it is written in the Gospel according to Juan Valdez.

  7. It’s even worse if you don’t drink caffeinated beverages. It really bugs me when there are all sorts of caffeinated options, and a few (usually OLD) decaf Lipton tea bags as the only decaf option. What, you can’t manage some herbal tea? Or even some decaf coffee? And explain to me why it’s the caffeinated coffee drinkers who get all the special cool flavors while I am stuck with boring old “house decaf”?

    This is definitely a coffee- and caffeine-biased society.

    We should hold a protest!!

  8. They also need to learn that a leaving us tea drinkers a pile of Lipton tea-bags is the equivalent of leaving coffee drinkers a tin of Folger’s and a scoop.

    Douglas Adams aptly described Lipton as “a substance almost but not quite entirely unlike tea.” He did not explain how the NutriMatic(TM) knew about Lipton.

    I happen to prefer green tea, a preference I share with many who (unlike me) have ethnic origins in eastern Asia (and who go to the same conferences I do). I have been to many places–including hotels in Asia as well as conferences–where green tea is unavailable. It’s not that hard to find, folks, especially if you are a hotel in a country where green tea is the national beverage–you think that westerners like me must be protected from drinking local stuff? (An attitude that does not extend to beer, by the way.)

  9. I have to say that this is my biggest pet peeve ever. I am a pretty laid back omnivore in all other respects, but the “tea” the serve at conferences (and let’s be honest, in most restaurants) just puts me on the warpath. Carrying your own tea bags doesn’t solve anything either, as the water they bring you is vile.

    Non coffee drinkers unite!

  10. As someone who doesn’t drink coffee because hey, I’m allergic and puking for the next several days (at best) isn’t how I want to spend my life, I don’t even try anymore.

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