Everyone’s Best “Friend”

“OK, here’s your profile.””

“You used the good picture of me, right?”

“Of course. Look here.”


“Oooh. I like that one. I look regal.”

“Yeah, I guess. So what do you want to add?”

“What do you mean?”

“Well, you can add applications, and become a fan of various things. Here, I’ll make you a fan of Physics.”

“OK, but isn’t there better stuff. How about steak? I like steak! Make me a fan of steak!”

“Ummm… Well, there are over 500 results for ‘steak.’ Which do you want?”

“All of them! Click them all!”

“Why am I the one doing this again?”

“Because I can’t work the mouse.”

“All right, look, I’m not going to click all of them. We’ll just do the top three, OK?”

“Fine. But you have to make me a fan of cheese, too. I like cheese! And bacon!”

“Oh, all right. Here.”

“Bacon steak and cheese!”

“How about some applications?”

“What are those?”

“You know, games and stuff. Here, you can play poker.”

“Dude, that is so cliché. What else is there?”

“Lots of things. You can add Ph.D. comics, or xkcd. You can follow blogs. And there are silly things, like SuperPoke.”

“What’s that?”

“It’s silly. You can poke people, and they can poke you, and you can also throw sheep at people, or… Why are you looking at me like that?”

“Dude, anybody who starts poking me is going to get bit. I wouldn’t mind a sheep, though.”

“Well, it’s not a real poke, or a real sheep. And the only people who can poke you are your friends.”

“I have friends?”

“Well, not yet, but that’s sort of the whole point of Facebook. It allows you to make friends with lots of different people.”

“Oooh! I like that! Friends give me treats. How many friends do I have?”

“At the moment, just me.”

“Awwww…. Nobody loves me.”

“Oh, stop. You don’t have any friends because you just started. But here, we can get you some friends. We’ll ask Sean, and Jennifer, and Dave, and…”

“Wait a minute. Ask? What’s with the asking?”

“Well, you have to send a request to people you want to be your friend, and they have to confirm it.”

“Why do I have to ask them? I am an excellent dog. People should be asking to be my friend, not me asking them.”

“I’m sure they will, but they don’t know to ask unless you ask them first.”

“Hmmph. I don’t like this. Can’t you just put it on the blog, and have them come to me?”

“Well, I suppose, but it’s not really the way it’s done…”

“Do it now!”

“OK, OK, take it easy… You know, maybe that’s enough Facebook for now.”

“Yes, I think so too. No more typing. Rub my belly.”