Why I Hate Windows Update, Aleph-nought in a Series

Relevant to yesterday’s discussion, I let Windows install its critical updates on my work computer last night. So far this morning, I have: 1) Spent five minutes looking at the blue Vista start-up screen, as the computer was hung up– not a screen with a “Configuring updates” message, mind– an otherwise blank blue screen with “Windows Vista” at the bottom, 2) Had Word inform me that it is unable to find the file I double-clicked to open Word, 3) Opened Word, opened the file from within Word, closed the file, tried to quit Word, and was told that I can’t quit Word because it’s in use by another user. On my single-user office computer.

Yeah, this is doing wonders for my productivity. Now I get to spend half a day uninstalling those updates, to see if that un-fucks my computer to a point where I can use it to do my job.

Linux looks better and better every time Windows updates itself.

19 thoughts on “Why I Hate Windows Update, Aleph-nought in a Series

  1. Since placing an Apple sticker over my Toshiba emblem, my laptop has worked remarkably better. What a difference confidence makes.

    Unfortunately, I haven’t found a cure for Windows as it seems to mutate with every update.

    -NGD

  2. Sessions: don’t be a jerk, eh?

    I wish I could say that Linux is completely better in this regard; though it’s slightly better in my experience (likely owing to the fact that Linux developers, not third parties, generally write the device drivers). I’ve had the Hardware Abstraction Layer fail a few times after an upgrade, which is required by the usb-stick-automounting system. (A quick reboot fixes it, but it shouldn’t happen in the first place!) It doesn’t force any updates, so perhaps it’s better in that regard too (Windows will force some for security, including DRM reasons)

    Drop me a line if you have any Linux questions; if you’re interested in it, you may want to dabble inside of a VMWare Player instance (http://www.vmware.com/products/player/ for VMWare Player, http://vmplanet.net/node/95 for the image, https://help.ubuntu.com/community/VMware/Player for additional community-provided documentation) Also, the install CDs are LiveCDs; that is, you can run it on your computer without actually installing anything on your hard drive (note that if you run it from the CD, it’s slow due to the limitations inherent in the CD system; it’s very usable if you run it from a USB thumb drive).

  3. I’m honestly sorry you’re having these problems, but you of all people should know that the plural of anecdote is not “data”.

    I had autoupdates installed yesterday as well, and…have had no problems at all.

  4. You really should try Ubuntu if you’re thinking of giving linux a chance. I haven’t had any significant issues on any of the… about a dozen.. systems I’ve installed it on.

    As for the Word issue, you might try turning off UAC. A client of mine (I’m a freelance tech) ran into an issue on Vista where Office would suddenly decide it wasn’t installed for that user. This was pre-SP1, but I wouldn’t be shocked if there still was the occasional wonky configuration.

    UAC is the source of that irritating, screen blanking pop-up confirmation dialog. To turn it off click Start, type msconfig in the search box and press enter. All the way to the right is a tools tab, and in there are the bits to disable/enable UAC (user access control).

  5. Vista only works for a 5-year old Asian female sending pictures of her parent being “busy” to her grandma (and probably Redmond by invisible default).

    Debian Linux: Boot from a Knoppix LIVE! DvD, ver. 5.3.1 (ver. 6 and later are for the vision-impaired). You get a quick page of tech scrawl, then a splash screen. Within 60 seconds you must start typing

    knoppix lang=us dma [enter]

    The OS loads. Kill that splash screen. You’re in – and Wincrap will never know. If yer gonna diddle, plug in a thumb drive. Its icon pops. Set permissions (right click for menu), close, right click, mount the drive.

    Default is all unmounted drives so you can do no harm (unless very clever) to your HDD. When you get comfy, go for the gusto. Overall, a right click in Linux is a page of icons in Wincrap.

    The system splash screen links to the voluminous instruction manual including custom startup options. Auto-decompression from the DvD adds a small delay. Knoppix starts from OEM scratch each boot unless you write a boot file.

    Download and burn the DvD or buy it. You’ve got a vast arena of idiot-resistant Linux at will, no installation required (NOT ver. 6.0 Adriane or later for the vision-impaired. Ver 5.3.1 specifically.)

    http://www.knoppix.net/about.php
    http://www.knopper.net/

    Given the same hardware and C++ source code compiled for Wincrap XP or Linux, a severe number cruncher (can extend to weeks of runtime) ran 40% faster in Knoppix.

  6. Even if you don’t go all the way to switching to Linux, installing OpenOffice for those times when M$Office shoots itself in the foot (or higher anatomical location) is worth the disk space.

  7. You seem to be going through the sequence of events that I went through last year, resulting in the realization that windows is taking way too much time and effort. I then tried out Ubuntu, but I found it too primitive to be a solution, though big improvement from the Linux distributions of yesteryear. Though I was skeptical for a long time, switching to the Mac did solve most of my problems, might solve some of yours as well.

  8. On two computers, I had to turn off Windows Update entirely because it started freezing my computer every time it ran. The only way I could update MS software was by going to the MS website and downloading and installing the updates manually, and for a while even that wasn’t an option. Just yesterday, running Windows Update and installing a set of updates on my current computer led to my internet connection being disabled for several hours. Sometimes it’s more trouble than it’s worth.

  9. My mother seems to be doing well with the Ubuntu machine I just sent her, and even with my limited skillz I use have come to prefer Linux. But the Mac is definitely a more polished system if you can afford one.

  10. This isn’t so much a Windows problem as it is a Microsoft problem. Even being on a Mac won’t save you if the brand new Office 2008 update is going to explode in your face (which happened last year on a large scale). The main advantage of being on a Mac in this situation is that if it happens, it’ll happen on a large scale (due to Macs running very few different hardware configs) and you won’t see as many people saying “I ran the update and it was just fine, dunno what your problem is”. And, of course, the fact that Word crashing on a Mac doesn’t take the rest of the system down.

  11. I think your problem is that you’re not deionizing properly after a day in the laser labs, so you’re getting stray ions all over your circuit boards, causing quantum behavior.

  12. I thought getting tenure means no longer having to open Word files (like Love means never having to say you’re sorry?). Stop crushing my dreams!

    My ploy – since I don’t have tenure – is that I tell people that their latest version of Word/Excel files display all crazy on my Mac. Usually they’ll print the stuff out and take care of it for me.

    I’m not saying that Macs work any better as computers, I’m just saying they work better as excuses to not use Word.

  13. There is no nirvana. All the OS’s (Windows, Mac OS X, Linux in whatever distribution you pick) have mechanisms to update themselves. Behind that update process are people and systems making changes which end up on your computer. None of those people and systems are perfect.

    If the risk of change is too great for you, simply take a version that you like and just stick with it. Always consider the risk of change vs. the expected/anticipated benefits.

  14. i agree with you rms but I can’t help about microsoft anyway. this autoupdate mess may very among windows “distributions” (home premium, ultimate, etc…) and microsoft is still too slow to fix and solve problems within the products they actually sell, and comparing windows xp-64 bit within win 7 64-bit there are a lot of performance regressions by now.

    I’d consider OSX Snow Leopard a better choice within these specific issues, one of the few ways I know OSX can be screwed up is by using a badly designed microsoft application (no problems yet with office 2008 except maybe malware), and despite it’s graphics performance repressions, Snow Leopard performs better than Leopard 😛

    this kind of issues in Linux are just quite particular, it depends on which distro are you working with and if the people who are in charge of developing a particular distribution decide to make big changes in a really short time term (e.g. Mandriva) thus making really risky to make a single update with that linux distro because I had got an unbootable Mandriva system for doing a single update, fortunately the’ve gone better this year.

    so i have a conclusion, which is:

    a stable operating system (such like Debian, CentOS, MAC OSX Server)
    has not to be updated so frequently, it has to be optimized within the application it may work better (e.g. NOT Office 2010), and of course, it has to be not-so-cutting-edge and unfortunately for some people (like me) who want to stay up to date with an OS it has to be a bit conservative.

    unfortunately, we are forced to use microsoft products to make our “standard” documents and templates. i’d like that some document ellaboration environments like LaTeX editors would be made more flexible and not more like a postscript language so everyone may use LaTeX text editors easily.

  15. Windows updates are an abomination most of them are fixes of previous fixes and on and on

    My only advice is that if you really have to use windows (linux is so much less fragile) then download another browser SOON

    Then when IE is screwed by an update at least you can get online and get some help

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